una palabra = 10sec.

ahora, me gusta mucho el espanol. quiero vivir en Espana y saber todas las palabras. aunque, es difícil para escribir en espanol pero voy a poner todo en mundo para hablar fluente como en un mujer espanola.

and the other in english, that i dreamt something really interestin with a red light. NOT red light district. this light came from an injekcióstű:) i should immidiately write this story down into my secret file!

now. im pleased and confused. im confused because im fuckinf fat now. OVER 50KG!!! and pleased because TM  was relaxing on my shoulder. ON MINE! little pleasures in the life:D bu about my kgs… im nervous. i hate being fat. well, im not that chubby whore, but there’s fat to touch.:( blee..

y el otro tema que me interesa. whoaa.. en espanol. va a ser interesante. quiero ser con alguien en mi cama. espero que no lee  quien puede traerme a situación evidencia. prefiero. cuando el rabo de hombre está andando afuera y dentro. estoy loco, pero no me interesa.

the preson can be SP, TM, KB but i prefer not knowing the name and doing it without emotions. it’s just the fusion of two people:P

i could write down:D i won. fuck you!:)

diziness

szétesik a fejem úgy kavarog. mintha egész éjjel vedeltem volna a vodkát, pedig aztán tényleg nem. fáradt is vagyok, hányingerem is kezd lenni és aludni akarok!!! talán a tegnapi pesti vezetés árasztott ki ennyire, vagy mi a fuck?

i love you, Tata

at home again.

well, i was in Debrecen to visit my friends. it was awesome. last year we were in portugal together, Ancsa, Zsolt, Ági, Balázs, Mommy & me.

i have to say that debrecen is a competly differet world than Tata. Tata is more like elite and calm. On saturday night Ági and me (later we met with Balázs) were in a party at Harbour (kikötő). before it we drunk some short in pub, where was a guy who always put his unpleasant productions ti the floor. disgusting. in tata we do not talk whats more kiközösítjük those people. at th age of 13-14-15, people are still live sexual life. NOT like in Tata. and of course there’s drug everywhre in that town. i think i couldnt live there. its absolutely not for me. i love you tata.

of course i like Ági and Balázs, but ehm… Debrecen is not for me. Ági i think is not inthe right way. i hope she wont do anything silly. Balázs is cleverer and more like people in tata.:)

nyugalmat!

Madrid: 21990 HUF, Barcelons: 50680 HUF, Róma: 22680 HUF, Zürich: 30050 HUF, Párizs: 58950 HUF melyiket is válasszam. sajnos ámr nem tudnám pontosan és szentimentálisan leírni, hogy miért is akarok választani és elutazni. inkább bele sem kezdek. csak annyit, hogy nem pozitív az egyszer biztos.

dilihház

i enyoed this day. we performed our performance and we were rehearsing it in Művház. everybody was so szétesett. TD is. körülbelül ovisat játszottunk előadás közben. Annyira jól éreztem magam. egy csomót beszélgettünk. jajj most annyira szeretném őt.:) olyan kis dilinyós tud lenni.

ja egyébként tegnap és ma sem láttam őket együtt. asszem, hogy csak előre pánikoltam(?)

malarkey

i was thinking about to put a question mark or not to the end of today’s post. but i rather didnt do that.

today i saw something… nondescript. i cant decide whether it gives me well or bad feeling. im talking about TM. i saw him with one girl, from the under class. they were just talking, nothing special, but TOGETHER, far from everyone, and it took place not just in one break, but in two. it’s a bit childish, i know. and TM knows almost everybody in the school and speaks everybody as well.

if the will be a… – you know that. i dont wanna write it down – i should be happy for them, although i dont really like – know – this girl. i would be happy, if TM is happy. he deserves it. and im a good friend, not a bitch.

BUT. there’s that fucking jealousy in my mind. i dont wanna be with him – at least not right now, maybe after high school, but it’s far – but i dont know what my reaction will be, if they hug each other on THAT way in front of me. i dont wanna see that. i will be fucking nervous, but i even wont be allowed to express my feelings. i cant live without TM’s fragrant, flavour. it makes me crazy. i wanna smell him all the time…

just to meniton, cause i think i passed it earlier: There’s always been something between us. at least from the last year. he was complimenting to me, always had has a nice word to me. in summer, we were at Lake Balaton together – with PZS – and in class he puts his head onto my shoulder. i have to say, that he doesn’t do it with everybody. I’m almost the only one and maybe KBa – but she’s nice. When we were at SA’s party, he put his hand to my (external?) leg and stomach and he was also stroking me. and the most important that many of our friends say me that what’s going on between YOU? And yesterday CsK was looking us and cocked his eye on us.

 

who, i cant call in surname

how could it happen. how easily could it happen. why is it happened to me???

i’ve always described myself as a determined, not emotional, hard-to-fall-in-love person. although on sunday it came to its end. i’ve couldnt figure it out, yet. i just met him, no, i just LOOKED at him for maybe 2 sec. and it happened. my mind is circling around him all the time. not about how i can catch him, about how perfect couple we would be. Oh,, the name: it’s SP (not the hungarian celeb sp, it’s one sexier, cooler, more eye-catching, braver, blondier and more perfect to me.)

so now im in this rough way, in a totally unknown way. will it be the proof of my apple-theorem? if yes, i hope it’ll take more and more time.

life is like a tree

i was climbing a tree, but i fell down again. in a figurative sense.

Life is easily predictable, everything comes in order, next to each other and nothing new can happen. just the history repeats itself. i was climbing up the tree, tasted the wrong and well flavoured apples, and after when i found the best, i lost in it and fell down again. not so hard to figure out the next step, isnt it?

tree is egual to the time, wrong apples equal bad experiencces, well flavoured apples equal the good days and falling down equals hang-up.

this vicious circle happened to me at the weekend. PA was the well flavoured, BG the best and KB the lost part in my story. everything goes well, until i met with KB. of course i was happy to see him, but his voice and talk brought me up and down. “you’re so sexy, you’re the best kisser, i let you go, i was the day after the fair.” it’s nice and should’ve brought butterflies into my stomach, but my mind was thinking about the best part, BG… until now? KB made a deep impression with his talk, i can’t move on. i lost.

all in all, now comes the climbing part maybe with a new tree or maybe i can climb up to BG’s tree again. so far now, i don’t know, what my heart will permit. this is the only one unpredictable part of life.

Lotofthing

omg* i wasnt here for… om.. for 2 months maybe? i didnt even finish my Holland blog:( This was one of the best week in my life to be true. but this is not what i wanted to wrte about.

i totally freaked out today. maybe because i couldnt sleep with my favourite pillow:S so in the early morning i had quite a good mood, but in the 5th lesson everything went wrong. actually nothing happened in that way i wanted to do. i felt so miserable and lonely. just 1 day left in school. i will miss my classmates, especially TM. he is my favourite guy in our class. i so love him. sometimes in the exact loving way too:O i know that we can meet in summer, but actually im not sure that itll happen, because im working, he’s working, we dont live in the same town,and he has such a friendship where i hate some ppl. E.g. the blond bitch V. son of a bitch. she interrupted me and i have a stomach ache if only i think about her.bleee. but i hope that TD will choose me and our friendship instead of the bitch’s.

and the other topic, amit magyarul fogok írni. szóval klausztrofóbiám van. két féle képpen is. először is a normális klausztrofóbia, vagyis nem bírom a bezást helyeket, ilyenkor mindig el kell terelnem a figyelmemet, hogy ne kapjak hányingert és ne parázzak be teljesen. a másik valamiféle honvággyal párosul. elvágyódom magyarországról. de most már nagyon durván. utálom majdnem az egész orszgát. még Tata okés, mert nagyon szép hely és fejlett meg minden, meg Győrt is szeretem, de minden mást utálok. vagyis nem utálok, csak nem érzem otthon magam. ha nincs víz a közelemben, akkor egyszerűen begőzölök és előjön a klausztrofóbiám. ezért jó Tata, itt rengeteg víz van, csak elég kilépni az erkélyemre. szóval annyira kiköltöznék mondjuk portugáliába. imádom azt az országot és az óceánt és magát a hangulatot. ott annyira nyugodt volt minden, de ha pezsgést szeretnék, ott van rá liszabon. arra vágyok, hogy nyáron csak ki kelljen lépnem a házból, valami lenge ruciban és mehessek is a tengerpartra egy barna pasival. mondjuk Santiagoval. persze most sokan mondhatják, hogy mindenki szeretne kiköltözni, csak éppen nem mindenkinek szorul össze a gyomra minden második percben emiatt. mintha igazából nem is magyar lennék, hanem valami tenger melletti. ha jobban belegondolok, az ükapám olasz volt, szóval annyira nem is csoda. a bőrszínem is a déli származásra mutat. áhh menni akarok. erre pont most kapok az aerovivától hírlevelet Portugál utakról. Algarve… Quarteira…Lisboa… Lagos és még sorolhatnám a gyönyörű helyeit. de itthon vagyok, a gépem felett szenvedek és csak szurkolhatok a portugáloknak a VB-n.