i hate that institution called school

2011.09.15. 18:53, zsanil
well, school started, freetime cut, life is hard.

but before school. M’s birthday was just simply great. A was there as well, he’s a nice guy. We just talked – i mean – everybody, i got a little drunken and the guys came to my home. i enjoyed it.

Then school started. The new math teacher lady is brilliant. i love her. she is what i needed. the first two days just went on – nada especial – but on friday i went to a basketball match with Marci and Dani. A played. just sayin’ i’m impartial when i declare that A was the best. i cheered him so much – at least inside me. And then i partied with Dorka and Marci. whohoho… this whohoho doesn’t mean i was drunken or whatever, this means that i kissed Marci. it’s weird, but true. i know that i love him deep inside my heart, but this ‘action’ wasn’t trully right. We are still classmates, so i broke my homeclass-law. but it was great. I tried to give me to believe that these were something amazing, eletric shocking kisses, but these were just right. a lot of right kisses. I cannot even count them. but he promised me that he wouldn’t tell it anyone. i hope so.

school, todays. Anti was odd. He was talking about my sexual habbits. fuckyeah. its my own thing. no more word about it, i try to be over it, because it shocked me a bit. so now, in my chair at home, i hate school. i hate every fucking people in my class – of course i’m not talking about Adri, Mariann, Anikó, Adél, Dóri, Zsófi. Maybe that’s all. well, my problem is with those jerk bitches who lick each others asses all the time. not to talk about the guys’ asses. this is abject. i hate them. i hate to watch them, to listen them, to breath the same air… it drives me crazy. so Adri does. we’re fucking done with it. i also don really like Marci at this time. it’s unbeliveable that in the morning we were kidding and some ours later he hugged, kissed and licked those fucking bitch asses. wháááá….

crazy times, kindergarden times. i’m just asking, are they human adult people? or stuck in childhood?

but luckily, we have just to live on some months in this situation. University is awaiting for us! Don’t give up smart ladies! we’re harder and stronger and if they won’t shut their mouths, we will fill it with our feet!

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summer

2011.08.30. 11:40, zsaniyi
twenty-eleven :D well,,, it’s funny to re-read my earlier writings. i feel like growing adult in this summer. i’m over a beautiiful Croatia trip, then a nice Sárvár, a fucking Siófok, an equvalency exam and rocking Bp trip:D it was great. wel… it was different than i expected but who cares, it was awesome.

In Siófok i met with thousands of Dutches, i love them <3 specially the guy from the Aqua crew. Marcel:P he is my man idol. no kidding. everything was so right there, the music, people, friends, alcohol – excluding the weather. imagine that i was dancing on my own and i cannot count that how many guys wanted to make my day nicer – but i did not let them.

BTW Irir Maffia in Bp. fucking awesome:) some of us were were there and yeahh.. A was as well. he is right, well, almost perfect, but i think, at least hope, that i am not that little girl who lives in dreamland. that Bp tour rocked. from the beginning. 2 'friends' couldn't bear our behaviour on the train and took a seat far away from us. and Levi didn't find his house at night. it was funny:) actually he is funny. after we had an amazing Irie Maffia – or before i cant remember exactly – and part on the Corvin-tető. A and some other friends were there as well. ohh and in the ZP he grabbed my hand to touch his wet trouser over his dick. honest boyfriend, ff..

so all in all i had one of my best summertime this year. now we had only 2 days and 1 party!! Happy Birthday Marci, my future husband. i love you:)

it's time for running, designing some clothes, overawing some people, hair washing and getting drunk for the last time! then my last, 5th year won't be easy.

Hurry up, time goes on!

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fucking hard

2011.05.23. 21:47, zsanil
im not saying that im starting to give it up, but fucking hard. A is so human. Friday everything went well, but today yeah there's no problem with the speaking part, but we need an other night together. it must be! now, at this moment i cant imagine the lide without him. its almost summer and im almost freaked out.come on guy give me a hug, i give you a smile and one more.

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By the way,,, i wish you would <3

2011.05.21. 09:21, zsanil
music: Streetdance soundtrack

This is comment is gonna be about the day befora yesterday.. and well, about yesterday. (19-20 May). It wasnt a short night:) The dutch exchange students' had a leaving party that night. i guess,,, that last year's dutches, OUR were better. but i dont really know this year's but i dont even wanna know them. I went to fortuna with Dorka. she's my bff:) before it i basiced my alcholol level. i drunk a little bit before hair washing, after hair washing, after clothing. and in fortuna we drunk some more. NOT too much. actually we felt that we're too old, and experienced.
After a little time HE appeared. My stomach started to lift. in a second i drunk a vodka, i needed that. i wasn't drunk just for sure, i just felt the feeling. After midnight we went to Tesco on foot. We're so stupid. We spoke much. He's greater then i waited. There, next to Tesco we gave some love to our body and finally we came home together (dorka, jordan 23, aaron, ben and me). It was just a fun! you cant imagine how well i felt myself. we made picture in the middle of the road:D ahh<3 i so loved that night.
And finally i slept at the house of Dorka, between Dorka and Aaron.:) only one our in weekday. and friday we gotta go to school. no more word:D

i just simply loved that night. i was creazy, well like always, i love you guys. i'll never forget that night, ALL OF YOU!!

In school he was greeting (any time we met) me the way we had a story:D

Hozzászólások (1)
pleasant

2011.05.13. 14:49, zsanil
after a day i had written my prvious comment down, everything changed. it's late so far, but know, i feel a kinda cavalcade. morning was super, 2 spanish, 2 literature these are funny as always, after a PE, i guess Maráz doing climax, an other spanish with pappa and now im down in the dumps.

i dont have enough power to go anywhere, im sick actually. and i also dont have enough power to write down my break:D the best is that it was PLEASANT.:) that's for now.

freedom<3

2011.05.05. 22:28, zsanil
hands in tha air. mumumusicc.(y)
today, at least in the afternoon, or trully at night i feel myself more free than times before.
hehe. face to face, wild, only two heros:)
i know that nobody can follow my words, but dont care. it's me.

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wtf(!)

2011.05.04. 22:43, zsanil
Is he my Mathias?
?Es él mi Mathias?

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mizu, mizu, mizu?

2011.05.04. 11:24, zsanil
it's ridiculous! i change my mind time to time. yesterday my class (me too) participated in a Gerecse 20. (just the rute was the same, but this wasn't the real tour de force). it was greater than i expected.they made it great. especially my dear tall friends and my girls. i love them. <3

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far away but closer

2011.04.22. 22:09, zsanil
far away but closer. just one state is between us. my friend left her ID card at home and i called him to bring it to the board, because he also came to Transilvania. unfortunatelly he didn't answer a phone. BUT wrote me… talking…

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metaforikus kamion

2011.04.13. 20:50, zsanil
mára változott a helyzet. tegnap úgy éreztem, mint akit elgázolt egy metaforikus kamion, ma már jobban másképp vagyok. megszólalt bennem egy erkölcsi hang, hogy viselkedjek rendesen. igen, talán ez a helyes és úgy érzem, hogy már most elszakadt tőlem bizonyos mértékig, de legmélyen még mindig összetartanak minket apró, vékony cérnaszálak és nem akarom elveszíteni. sőt, nem akarok jó kislány lenni, de nem tudnék fájdalmat sem okozni. talán a méreg miatt van az is, hogyha rágondolok nem fut végig rajtam a libabőrözés, csak eszembe jutnak a pillanatok, majd hála istennek egyre kevesebbszer, de a fájdalmas kép is. talán már "csak" a szívemben érzem őt. de nem csak ott szeretném. és van egy újabb félelmem. ez nem is akkora félelem, de ahhoz túl nagy, hogy le is írjam. szeretet van benne.

ups and downs

2011.04.12. 16:10, zsanil
A heti hangulatomat a legjobban az ups and downs angol kifejezés érzékelteti. Meg a magyar a faszomba! szigorúan hangulatjel nélkül. valóra vált a félelmem. tegnap még gondolkoztam is rajta, hogy csak ez ne történjen meg. és voilá! remélem nem sokáig tartó állapot lesz ez a mostani, de mindenesetre rendesen sokkolt. idegileg, szellemileg és érzelmileg is. a legegyszerűbb orvosság rá a harag, düh és mély megvetés. nem hazudok, ez mind meg is van, de emellett várom a változást. kurvára várom!!!! annyira undorító az a kép, ami a fejembe berögzült, hogy hányni tudnék. ó, bazdmeg pulikutya az isten szerelmére!

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perfect

2011.04.07. 22:11, zsanil
Today was like a fairy tale <3

jájjj… well enough.

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early in tha morning

2011.04.01. 17:37, zsanil
again. being pissed out. such bitches. doesnt worth a word.

today, our guys had a basketball match:D it was a nice job. actually it's not an NBA style, there's only 2 haltime periods and the average heights… uhm.. a little smaller:) the enemy was one of the three best teams (12/A – my class, 11/A – enemy, 12/D – fy). i woke up early in the morning, well… i was almost late, but it isnt a miracle. in the first halftime period our class controled the match, and et the beginning of the second, the enemy managed to equal the result. it was getting more and more exciting. but fortunatelly, we won at the and, and i hope, that these two class will play thee big final game, as well. Hala 12/A! I like 11/A and i have to say that there's a guy, who is better than everybody else, but he wasnt in shape today. bad for him, lucky for us:D i also like him, but it didn't count when it's about our class.

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Endings and Beginnings

2011.03.31. 17:23, zsanil
Finally, it's the last day in March. I hope, that April is gonna bring sunshine over my friends.

I used to have an idea, that it'd be fun to argue with someone. Arguing like yelling and saying bad things in front of public. yeah, im a little crazy. and what happened? two of my best friends argued today. i felt something prewave of this, but they totally pissed me out. both of them are true, but both of them are no-friends-type too. they're trying to persuade me, but i still stand. oh… wtf. they're so egocentric sometimes.

i really hope, that they'll be fine and they can clear the things.

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dreamish

2011.03.26. 19:43, zsanil
i dreamt something wrongnice about me and some buddies. i like writing so i wrote it down, but i had to add to ending. when a woke up ifrom a dream i had good feeling about the dream which is equal to the nice ending. but in writing… it's different. it is about the emotionless girl, but the writing itself is more emotional than ive ever written. the outcome is almost a (novella) but finally i changed. it was too morbide. i felt such a wrong thing. so at the end the girl is getting better all the time in the novel, and she can also laugh ( she is caught laughinf for 3 minutes now ), but she wont be the same anymore. she's happy in her family with her husband and with their child but the other relationships are just not perfect.
it's weird but if i can feel my characters in my skin i usually add some of my characteristics to them. so that, their life are gonna be a happy ending. im afraid if i kill them, or cause them hurt maybe i will feel the same again in my skin. that's why i changed the ending and it's not a happy ending but i wrote that girl a deep, emotional, loving relationship.

originally i wanted to attach the novel, but maybe i will use up it someday.

hüpp

2011.03.25. 19:09, zsanil
i feel 'such a thing' right now. like crying, missing, liking.

there's a ball in my throat. it sucks absolutely. im not myself today….ahh it's so wrong. i cant help myself out. suffering is good sometimes, but it will endure me. h-h-h. one picture is floating always in front of my eyes. i wanna get it so bad. i need it. i wont be whole without it.

today i checked a gportal page which is about a girl who was born in 1996. i thought that in the age of 15 the people has brain, but i was completely wrong. she wrote down her "tökéletes pasi". 170-180 cm tall with muscles, blue eye, brown or black hair, university student (for a 15 years old little girl!!!) or musician. i couldnt stop laughing. is it s joke? then it's better thatn Artur's jokes. she lives in a dreamland, i guess. what if the boy will have a blonde hair? will she kick him off because of it? stupid. she's a JERK!

people had better to read these articles about the revolts, snow and catastrophy in the world. i cant even imagen what i would do if this took place in Hungary. and at the of everything, Jemen is one of the poorest country in the world. it has to be hard those people in Jemen. Ali Abdullah sucks!

Jemen a polgárháború szélén
Havazik!! (please take care of your own and others' health)
Tízezer fölött a halottak száma Japánban
TOMORROW AT 7:00 FORMULA ONE!!!

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Like a crémebrulée

2011.03.24. 16:35, zsanil
omfg. i didnt write yesterday, however it was a fantastic day until PE, but who cares, she's an egocentric WHORE. the beginning was like a crémebrulée. our guys had a basketball match with 9D – im not sure about the class- but the other team didnt appear at the ground. so that our guys were playing handballish basketballish God knows what. my chosen was also there. i guess, he was to handle the match. he is good in basketball. it was so much fun, i felt pleased.

today,
we made an EMELTSZINTŰ ANGOL ÉRETTSÉGI NYELVHELYESSÉGI RÉSZÉT and i got 5. happy, sálálá, it is nice to be happy. and i looked at him at least 3 times a day. it was needed as well, because tomorrow they are going to the Nationwide Basketball Championship. so he and my classmates and some guys. i felt that I am not anybody in his eyes. maybe im paranoid but he was looking for me. i hope, im right. 3 days without him. i already miss him so much. thank God for creating him.

i was wrong, these days are like crémebrulée

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Every since and then

2011.03.21. 15:45, zsanil
basketball match in the morning. tick
lazy spanish class. tick
just some easy class. tick
welldone civilisation exam. tick
meeting in the new-buliding. tick

They, actually he won in the morning. Although he wasn't a kick-ass, but who minds. i know, everybody knows the ropes, no doubt. there was an eye-to-eye moment, the best part of my day, until… i was writing about adultish, huh. well, it sound a bit childish right now, but i dont care. the little moment bulid up the whole.

song: izmos kockahas, csupasz mell, te is csak…

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Thee meeting

2011.03.16. 17:58, zsanil
it's 16th of Marrch. 5 days later. it would be so übercool if i could write that everything has changed. sounds adultish, huh? but i wouldnt be true. the truth is that thee big eye-to-eye meetins wasn't an earthquake. actually i could feel it in my leg but there were just lazy caterpillars instead of butterflies. i could feel the warmness, but wasn't what i expected. now my stomach is moving… but who knows. maybe because of the túrórudi. or maybe not. interestint that i cant even explain myself to me. dont laugh, buddy.

yesterday i got THAT feeling. the needness. one touch, one fragrant.

all in all, it wasnt thee meeting, but i makes me pleasant, that i can see him everyday and "all the time".

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Missing

2011.03.11. 23:28, zsanil
"I want to hold your hand and walk a mile
dont want to miss you, even a while.

My mornings miss you,
My evenings seek you
where were you all these days,
You weren't there to wipe my tears.

Fear of future is worse then pain of the past."

I miss you so badly. I can't stop thinking of you. You are always in my mind. You are not just a piece of the big lifecake, you are my piece of it. Mybe it's weird but i still can't delete you out of my head, however it has taken a lot of time since we met. actually 15 days. just some left, exactly 4 and some hours.

sucks

2011.03.10. 18:42, zsanil
i cannot get why those people "lick" each other's ass. it's absurd.

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emotion

2011.03.10. 00:33, zsanil

sometimes the smallest piece of happiness worths the most and has the tears bumped.

just a few word or even just a smile.

grab the today and the moment out of the darkness!

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Bunch of feelings

2011.03.07. 16:33, zsanil
i guess, nowadays i feel myself a little older then actually i am. or at least old enough to my age.

yesterday we arrived from skiing. i feel a hole inside of me. at this year the band was awesome. i miss them so bad. it's unbelieveable that there will be an other year without them. i wanna go back and rocking in the pistes. (H, D, S, E, P, M, E, sergeant, P family, A and her family and of course my dad).

the only one pleasant thing is the number 10! right? NO!! it's actually only NINE/KILENC/NUEVE/9

i have to write now. i feel it. or design some clothes. i don't know. trully i need to make something rocking to leave my signature in the world.

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Két és fél hét

2011.02.25. 14:24, zsanil
Az az igazán szánalmas, hogy tudom, hogy szánalmas, de mégsem érdekel, hogy szánalmas, mert így érzem jól magam!

Leadtam ma a síelési kérvényemet az igazgatónál, mondhatni ez volt a mai napom legjobb pillanata. Ja meg lájkoltam egy status-t. Meg sem rengetett, sőt még örülök is, ahogy azt már korábban kitaláltam, hogy fogok is neki.

Vissza az elsődleges legjobb pillanatomhoz, igaz jövőhéten megyek síelni és tök jó, de valami mégis nyomaszt. Az a két és fél hét. Azt hiszem nehéz lesz, de túl leszek rajta, majd elfoglaltatom az időmet valaki mással, hogy aztán újult erővel tudjak belecsapni a dolgokba. És még jobb legyen a visszatérés.

Lefogadom, hogy ha ezt most elolvasná valaki azt se tudná miről dumálok, de talán a +100 IQ-sok rájönnek.

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Nyilvánvaló

2011.02.24. 21:37, Zsanil
A spanyol tanárom egy őszi csávó. 70 és a halál között. Szerinte 15 pecig kell magyarázni, hogy mi a feladat, mert a lányok nem értik meg. Na most, mi megértettük (lányok) és sajnos azt mondtam rá, hogy szerintem nyilvánvaló a feladat, de a fiúk nem tudták felfogni, hogy mégis mit kellene csinálni. Pedig a szöveges utasíítás annyi volt, hogy Termina las oraciones. De nem. végig kellett hallgatni az ősz isten sületlendégeit.

Egyébként meg akkora jót aludtam délután, álmodtam is rengeteget és most pedig rajzolgattam személyeket. 10-ből 8-at adnék rá. Kezeket nem tudok rajzolni ez tény, de egész jól kijöttek a srác izmai. Most így utólag válaszhattam volna egy kevésbé izmos embert, de úgy éreztem, hogy Ő a tökéletes rajzom tárgyának.

Casi perfecto

2011.02.22. 15:54, zsanil
seguro… es muy attractivo, juega al baloncesto, amable, musculoso, alto, inteligente, tiene la cara muchísima. pues no es perfecto?

tiene sólo una falta que tiene un ano menos como yo tengo. pero tiene el aspecto como un hombre con veinte anos.

hoy, me ayudaba mucho sin conocimiento.

aquí, una photo pero estoy seguro de que no vayáis a comprenderla porqe lo pude aquí. es un secreto.

unos artículos y páginas importantes para hoy:

FEGYVERES RABLÁS
ELHALASZTJÁK A BAHREINI NAGYDÍJAT

Hozzászólások (1)
Imádataim

2011.02.21. 21:34, Zsanil
Első és legfontosabb dolog, hogy 2 dologért rajongok az életben. Persze azok összetettebb dolgok.

sport
divat
Sport: megszámlálhatatlan fajtáját szeretem. A focit, azon belül is a Real Madridot, a Forma-1-et, azon belül: Kimi Räikkönent – aki ugye már nyúgdíjba vonult, és Sebastian Vettelt, a síelést: Lindsey Vonn, síugrást: Simond Amman, sífutást, síkfutást, torony- és távolugrást, úszást, korcsolyázást, snowboardozást, mindenféle autóversenyt, snooker, "dagonyás motorozást" hajrá lengyelek! Nem sok olyan van, ami nem kötne le engem. Talán csak a tenisz és a golf. Még a kosárlabdát is megszerettem mostanában. Hiába, felnőttem.

realmadrid
formula1
wrc
A divatról nem is irnék semmi különlegeset, aki szereti, az tudja, hogy milyen érzés az. <3

az ötödik évadot eddig, habár még csak a 3. részénél járok, de többé-kevésbé végig sírtam. akár bömbölni is tudtam volna. ennek több oka is van:

1. szeretet hiányos vagyok. igazából talán nem is lenne okom rá, de az vagyok. néha úgy érzem, hogy nem szeretnek. pedig a szívem mélyén tudom, hogy ez nem igaz. talán egy férfi ölelésére vágyok. egy nathan scottéra.

2. és ezzel el is jutottam a második indokig. Nathan Scott az ötödik évadban egy önsajnáltató “seggfej”. abba kellett hagynia a kosárlabdát, mert tolószékbe került. mellette ott van a gyönyörű, okos és sportos kisfia, Jamie, és persze Haylei. Nathan úgy érzi, hogy ezzel vége az életének, már semmire sem jó. talán én már előre félek ettől, hogy nem fogok nyomot hagyni az életben. pedig szeretnék.

érdekes az is, hogy pár napja jó hangulatom van, de mégis most lettem ennyire sírós. még az is megeshet, hogy ezzel találtam önmagamra?

well, now i’m writing about him again. in this week i made – i also cant count how many and how much time i was spending to write rows about him – ALOTOF writing about him. it’s a strange feeling because i cant slip my mind, he always rocking in it. Christmas would be nicer with him. but i should say i hope, but instead i will do i think. so i think he feels in the same way anyhow.

i so fucking want him, im not saying that in any minutes, because it would be a fanatism, but in every 5 or 10 minutes he is in my mind. he’s totally for me, he would be able to do everything what he wants to me. just please,LET ME KNOW!

ohh. not forgeting to mention, that he sent a text to hiy headteacher(LJ). isnt he PERFECT??!!!

Today, the impossibile happened. i was throwing snowballs. actually i dont like snow – except at the time of skiing – but it was great. during the way back from school to the station. the melting snow was running between my boobs and my nipples were hardened. funny yaa..:)

i should this write down in spanish, but it’s a bit complicated and the online dictionaries suck. and i too lazy to stand up and look after words in writing dict, but i do my best.

hoy, el imposible pasó. jugué con nieve. de verdad, no me gusta nieve pero era bonito y bueno. durante del camino a casa de la escuela. no sé los otros en enspanol sin diccionario.

he he he. i watched a really funny video on youtube:) it is about formula one drivers. worth seeing it:) linktoit

on Friday i went to Bicske with SA and SBA, to celebrate our friend KBa”s birthday. it was great. not the type of drink fucking much and do not remember anything next day. it was a light and solid bday:P but her friends in Bicske are awesome.

y estaba nevando. no me gusta mucho el nieve porque me da mala emoción como no puedo esquiar en Hungría. Aunque en esta foto estamos alegre. Creo que la pen~a lo hace. (= and it was snowing. i dont really like snow, because  it feels me wrong, that in Hungary i cant skiing. Although in this photo we are happy. i thing that because of the people.)

when we came back to my born town, we met with the football players of Puskás Ferenc Football Academy. They’re hot. actually i have to say that i love football players, as well as  the fishes in the Eindhoven pool.

That’s all for now. Prom is coming:D Just six nights:D

and the other in english, that i dreamt something really interestin with a red light. NOT red light district. this light came from an injekcióstű:) i should immidiately write this story down into my secret file!

y el otro tema que me interesa. whoaa.. en espanol. va a ser interesante. quiero ser con alguien en mi cama. espero que no lee  quien puede traerme a situación evidencia. prefiero. cuando el rabo de hombre está andando afuera y dentro. estoy loco, pero no me interesa.

the preson can be SP, TM, KB but i prefer not knowing the name and doing it without emotions. it’s just the fusion of two people:P

i could write down:D i won. fuck you!:)